Just a little somethin’ somethin’

Hey, I know I haven’t written it in here in a while and every now and then I come in here and I usually just write about my love life , but usually I do that because that’s what’s going on in my life I am always in a situation where I’m trying to find love. Whether it’s love for myself love for my life, like my job, or love for someone else. For quite some time I believe that love was everything and I believe that it was what I was living for. I have gotten to a point where I am loving myself more and treating myself better. That has been a great experience. I went to a festival in Chattahoochee Hills Georgia and it was amazing. The name of the festival was tomorrow world and I got to see several different DJ’s and I also got to work there in the artist relations department. While I was there in Chattahoochee we had to camp on the grounds, it rained the entire time, however it was still amazing. I did acid for the first time and it was awesome. I feel like I have some type of epiphany occurred to me while I was out there in the wilderness lol and it was amazing I came home feeling like a brand new person.

I’m not going to lie when I say this because well it’s my blog and I never really lie to myself but I am changing. I feel like the older I’m getting I’m coming to realize that the people in your life some of them are important and some of them are not important and the ones that are not important needs to be dismissed. There are no ifs and or buts about that situation and I feel like the people that I still have in my life and the people that continue to be in my life are here for a reason and I am beginning to value my friendships and value the word loyalty. For a long time I was not loyal friend, I would talk behind my friends backs about their personal business with my other friends and I know sometimes you need to express yourself outside of your friends but sometimes I would take it way too far and I’m better than that now. I really don’t know what I’m supposed to be in my blog writing about right now it’s kind of just a bunch of mumbo jumbo! Have noticed something about me lately, I am NOT really ready to care for someone because I am so scared that if I begin to care that I will be hurt. I am becoming guarded again and scared again to be involved with someone. I don’t want to like anyone, and sometimes the people that you do like they always give you some sort of spiel about why they’re not in a relationship or why they shouldn’t be in one right now because they’re getting themselves together and I am so sick of that! So sick of that! Why does everyone have to tell you why they don’t want to be in a relationship while they are getting to know you. What do you think I’m going to be? Who do you think I’m going to be for you? If I’m not going to be the one that you want to get to know to be with and to understand and grow with then why f*** with me? That was just a rant I just really need to get that part of my out of my head, I really wrote this just to say that last part.


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